Hi!
I’m Kim Fielding and I’m about to embarrass myself.
I
often tell people that writing is my therapy. When I have a rough day at my day
job, instead of taking it out on my students, colleagues, and family, I go home
and do terrible things to my characters. Don’t worry—I almost always save them
by the end. But for a while I’m mean, and then I feel better.
Today
I’m going to be mean only to myself. Today you are going to be my therapists as
I share with you one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
My
older daughter was three and I was picking her up at preschool. They’d had
their pictures taken that day, so photography was on her mind. I was standing
and chatting with one of her teachers, and she was dancing happily around,
chatting a mile a minute.
“You
know what?” she chirped to her teacher.
“What?”
“My
Mommy and Daddy have pictures of themselves. Naked!”
Now,
I want to be clear with you about this: my husband and I did not (and do not)
have nude photos of ourselves. I don’t know why she said this. Maybe for the
same reason she once spent naptime skipping around the room singing, “Fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.” (She’s 13 now, by the way, and a really wonderful kid.) But
there was no way I could deny the truth of her statement without sounding like
I was lying through my teeth.
My
face went beet red. The teacher’s smile grew strained. I beat a hasty retreat.
The subject was never raised in my presence again.
My
daughter has had 10 years to add to my store of embarrassing moments, and her
younger sister—she of the famed Shoe Tantrum—has had 9. Which means I am
hardened and nowadays it takes a lot to make me blush. Like the other day when
I sort of accidentally admitted to a classroom full of
college students that their professor was in the midst of writing a novel about
a gay hipster architect werewolf (the sequel to my Good Bones). The students were a little surprised, but I just went
right on teaching. I guess I have my daughter to thank for that.
I’m
not at all embarrassed by my three new releases this month, incidentally. In
fact, I’m pretty proud of them, and I hope you’ll read them and enjoy.
Dreampsinner released my Hanukkah short, A
Great Miracle Happened There, on December 1. Silver will release my
Christmas short, Joys
R Us, on December 13. And on December 3 my latest novel, Brute, came out.
Thank
you for the therapy session! I feel much better now.
Brute
by Kim Fielding
Brute leads a lonely life in a world where magic is commonplace. He is seven and a half feet of ugly, and of disreputable descent. No one, including Brute, expects him to be more than a laborer. But heroes come in all shapes and sizes, and when he is maimed while rescuing a prince, Brute’s life changes abruptly. He is summoned to serve at the palace in Tellomer as a guard for a single prisoner. It sounds easy but turns out to be the challenge of his life.
Rumors say the prisoner, Gray Leynham, is a witch and a traitor. What is certain is that he has spent years in misery: blind, chained, and rendered nearly mute by an extreme stutter. And he dreams of people’s deaths—dreams that come true.
As Brute becomes accustomed to palace life and gets to know Gray, he discovers his own worth, first as a friend and a man and then as a lover. But Brute also learns heroes sometimes face difficult choices and that doing what is right can bring danger of its own.
Buy links at Dreamspinner Press:
As
part of the Brute Blog Tour, Kim Fielding is running a contest. All you have to
do to enter is to leave a comment on this entry, stating one of your
embarrassing moments. Please leave your email address in your comment. You can
comment at multiple blog tour entries for multiple chances to win! Click
here for the full list of tour stops. Winners will be chosen on December 25. One person
will receive a paperback copy of Brute
and another person will receive an e-book copy of Brute.
Excerpt from Brute:
Time passed achingly slowly. Sometimes someone
would pop out from one of the little doors and take one or more of the waiting
people back in with them, but nobody ever came for Brute. New people came
through the large entry doors, did a double take when they saw him, and sat far
away. They were eventually escorted through doorways too. His ass grew sore
from sitting on the hard bench, his stomach gurgled and growled, and worst of
all, his bladder began to complain quite insistently. He knew it was impossible
for the giant with the ugly face to have been forgotten, and yet none of the
people who worked there even glanced his way. Maybe they thought he was a new
and especially unbecoming statue.
Just as he was about to give in to desperation
and ask where he might find a place to relieve himself, a round woman with a
feathered hat and the widest skirts he’d ever seen appeared from the far left
door and sailed in his direction. “This way,” she commanded.
His hips and legs had cramped a little as he
sat, and he limped very badly as he followed her.
The far left door led to an office smelling of
tea and crammed with books and papers. The woman went away and shut the door
behind her, leaving Brute alone with a man who was a few years older than him.
The man was dressed in rather plain clothes and was tiny—barely five feet tall
and probably one-third Brute’s weight—but he managed to project an aura of such
powerful authority that he was almost terrifying. He stood several feet away
and looked Brute up and down slowly. “You have a letter?” he finally said.
“Um, yes sir.” Brute produced the paper from the
folds of his cloak and held it out, but the man didn’t take it.
“You will address me as Lord Maudit. You may
call me milord or Your Excellency as well, for variety’s sake.”
“Yes, Lord Maudit.”
Lord Maudit rolled his eyes and snatched the
paper out of Brute’s hand. He tore open the seal without ceremony and scanned
the contents. When he was finished, he considered Brute again, this time
appraisingly. It reminded Brute of the way Darius would look over a mule he was
considering buying. “So you’re a hero?” he said at last.
“I—no. I mean, the prince, he—”
“Needed to be rescued from his own foolishness.
Again. And rather dramatically, I understand.”
Brute didn’t know how to answer that. He licked
his lips nervously and fought the urge to shift his feet. His bladder was full
to bursting, and the glimpses of the sea he could catch through Lord Maudit’s
window weren’t helping.
“Not very chatty, are you?” the lord said.
“Good.” He folded the paper and slapped it against his thigh before tossing it
onto his desk. “Wait here.”
“Please!”
Lord Maudit was nearly to the door when Brute
blurted out his plea. The little man turned, eyebrow raised. “Yes?”
“I need to—is there an outhouse? Milord,” Brute
added hastily.
“Garderobe’s through there,” the lord said,
waving at a narrow door in the corner. Brute made what he hoped was a dignified
dash for it while the other man left through the main door.
To reach the garderobe he had to climb a set of
very narrow, winding stairs. The stairs dead-ended in a rounded little chamber
with tiny slits for windows. The room contained a wooden seat with a hole in it
and a small table bearing an earthen pitcher of water. Fumbling his laces open
one-handed seemed to take forever, but eventually he managed to get his
trousers undone. He emptied himself with a long groan of relief. At least he
hadn’t lost his good hand, he reminded himself for the thousandth time. The
gods only knew how he would have managed to get himself undressed then.
Lacing back up again was even more troublesome,
but at least his need was no longer quite so urgent. He just wished he could
have managed to find a way to pour the water in the pitcher over his hand to
cleanse it.
Lord Maudit’s office was empty when Brute
descended the stairs. Brute resisted the temptation to poke around—he had an
eerie feeling that the man would somehow know—and
instead admired the view from the windows and then a large painting of a
hunting party chasing a stag.
“Hideous painting, isn’t it?”
Brute jumped at the voice and whirled around.
Lord Maudit had returned, but it was his companion who had spoken: Prince
Aldfrid, attired in riding clothes and smiling broadly. The prince showed no
sign of limping as he crossed the room. “I’m glad you’ve recovered enough to
make the journey,” he said to Brute. “How are you managing?” He seemed
genuinely concerned.
Brute pulled his stump out of his cloak pocket,
which made Lord Maudit’s eyes widen. Apparently the prince’s letter hadn’t
mentioned that Brute was maimed. “Your Highness, are you certain—” the lord
began.
“Yes,” the prince interrupted sharply.
“Completely. He’s the man for the job.”
“The job, Your Highness?” Brute asked.
“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? I could just
give you a sack of gold and send you on your way—you’ve earned it—but I’m
guessing you’re not that kind of man. You want to be… useful.” His laugh
sounded a little sad. “More useful than a king’s fourth son.”
Brute took a moment to consider the prince’s
words. A sack of gold. He’d never have to worry about his livelihood again. He
could buy a little cottage somewhere, have some clothing made that actually
fit. He could eat decent food every day. And then… what? Sit by himself and
wait to grow old and die? “I would like to be useful,” he confirmed. “But I
don’t know what I can do for you, sir, not like this. I’m sorry.”
“Have you any skills at all?” Lord Maudit asked.
“I suppose it’s too much to ask that you know how to write.”
Brute hung his head, ashamed. “I wanted to. Had
no money to pay the schoolmaster.” After his parents were dead, when his
great-uncle would send him scurrying around the village to fetch this and carry
that, Brute used to pass the little schoolhouse now and then, and he’d pause
long enough to gaze at it enviously. Once he’d even dared to ask his
great-uncle to send him—Brute had promised to work twice as much to pay for
it—but his great-uncle had cuffed him hard enough to send him sprawling, then
growled that Brute was too stupid to learn.
“Doesn’t matter,” said Prince Aldfrid, pulling
Brute out of the bad memory. “I have something perfect for you.”
“Aldfrid, you’re taking an enormous risk.” Lord
Maudit sounded irritated with the prince, but in a resigned sort of way, as if
he were used to conversations like this.
“He’s the one, Maud.”
“But the king—”
“My father, if he notices at all, will see that
a very large and not especially bright man—sorry, Brute; I know you’re no
idiot—has been put in place. That’s all.”
Brute stood there mutely, slightly surprised at
the obvious familiarity between the men and not having the vaguest clue what
they were talking about. But then the prince clapped him on the arm and
grinned. “It’ll all work out. You won’t be seeing much of me, Brute, but if you
need anything, just get word to Maud here and he’ll take care of it.” He
smirked at Lord Maudit and sped out of the room.
Maudit briefly closed his eyes, as if he were in
pain. “Scrambled your brains a bit more on those rocks, didn’t you, Friddy?” he
muttered. Then he glared at Brute. “Follow me.”
It seemed that everyone was saying that to him
today. But Brute shrugged and did as he was told.
He was led through another dizzying arrangement
of corridors and stairways. Once he caught a glimpse of an enormous room—by far
the largest he had ever seen—with a polished marble floor, gilded pillars, and
a ceiling fresco considerably more elaborate than the one he’d been admiring
while he waited. But he didn’t get a chance to enjoy it, because Maudit dragged
him along at a pace surprising for a man with such short legs. Guards saluted
when Lord Maudit passed, and various well-dressed functionaries and servants
all tried to look more industrious. Maudit ignored them.
They eventually left the building—through a
different door than the one by which Brute and the guard had entered—crossed an
oblong grassy area where several women in colorful gowns sat and embroidered,
and entered a narrow passageway between two buildings. The passageway
dead-ended at a grim little building of dirty stone. The windows in the
building were simply narrow vertical slits, and even those were covered by iron
bars. The door was iron as well—arched and sporting a heavy bolt—with a
bored-looking guard stationed outside. The guard snapped to attention when he
saw them coming.
“Has everything been readied?” Lord Maudit
snapped.
The guard nodded sharply. “Yes, milord. The
maids just left.”
“Good. This is… well, Brute. Obviously. You’ve
been told of his duties?”
“Yes, milord.”
“If he needs anything, make sure he gets it.
I’ll be checking on him.”
The guard looked slightly horrified at the
prospect but nodded again. Then he unlocked the door and waited for Maudit and
Brute to enter.
This time, Brute found himself in a small
hallway with a ceiling so low he almost had to stoop his head. The walls were
rough plaster, dirty and cracked, interrupted now and then by doors made of
thick dark timbers. The building smelled of damp and age, with a faint sickly
sweet undertone, as if something had rotted long ago.
“What—” Brute began.
“In here.” Lord Maudit pressed the latch on one
of the doors; the hinges squealed in protest. Brute stepped inside and saw, to
his astonishment, a somewhat dim but comfortable-looking apartment. The ceiling
was higher than that of the hallway, although he could still have brushed it
with his fingertips. The room contained an oversized bed piled with quilts, a
chest of drawers with an actual mirror on top, a solid table with two equally
solid chairs, and a matching wardrobe and bookshelf. The window was tiny, of
course, but the walls were hung with colorful tapestries that depicted scenes
of beasts in the forest and creatures under the sea. A small stove with dark
green tiles was tucked in one corner, but not lit today because the weather was
far too warm.
And in one wall, over near another corner, was a
door constructed of heavy iron bars, with only darkness visible behind it.
“Welcome to your new home,” said Lord Maudit
from the doorway.
“But… what?”
“His Highness has decided that you will be a
very specialized sort of guard, with only a single prisoner to watch over.”
“Prisoner?” Brute’s eyes strayed back to the
barred door.
Maudit twitched one shoulder. “See for
yourself.”
With some degree of trepidation, Brute crossed
the room.
The bars separated the apartment from a small
cell. He had to squint to see inside—there was no window slit in the prisoner’s
space—but there wasn’t much to see. Bare walls, bare floor, and in the corner,
a dirty pile of rags. But as Brute stared, the rags shifted slightly and chains
clanked, and a matted mass of hair appeared from under the edge of the fabric.
A man, Brute realized. He was looking at a man huddled under a blanket. Chains
sounded again, and Brute noted the metal collar around the man’s neck, manacles
on his wrists, and shackled ankles fastened by chains to bolts in the floor. It
was impossible to make out any details of the man past his rat’s nest of hair
and tangled beard until the prisoner lifted his head slightly. Brute gasped at
the man’s obvious blindness: eyelids closed over sunken, empty sockets.
Lord Maudit sighed. He still hadn’t actually
entered the room. “Brute, meet Gray Leynham.”
*LOL*
ReplyDeleteYour Kids are great! *sorry* but I can't help myself I just have to laugh.
I can laugh now too--years later!
DeleteThank you for letting me visit and embarrass myself today! :-)
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! You're welcome back any time! I'm totally adding Brute to my "to read" list!
DeleteOh, boy...as someone naturally klutzy, I've had plenty of embarrassment my whole life. If there's anything to fall into or step in, I've done it publicly multiple times (especially on class field trips as a kid).
ReplyDeletevitajex(at)aol(dot)com
My father used to (sarcastically) call me Grace. :-)
DeleteYour kids certainly made life lively for you. LOL.
ReplyDeletestrive4bst(At) yahoo(Dot) com
They keep on my toes. :-)
Delete*phew!!* At least I'm not the only mom of a toddler who has been embarrassed in public! LOL At the age of 3 my youngest one said 'Damn fucking shit'. Luckily we were at home. But she did other things, the type you wish for earth to open up and swallow you. LOL
ReplyDeleteHappy Holidays!!
~Rush~
taina1959@yahoo.com
LOL! Parenthood is so rewarding!
ReplyDelete