It all began on a bright sunny day in the 1990s... Or maybe it was cold and cloudy. Hell if I remember. I was eleven years old, and my mom had taken my sisters and me to Blockbuster to rent movies. (Remember when people used to go to a store to rent movies? Good old VHS tapes with a sticker telling you to be kind and rewind, etc.)
Anyway, even at that age, I was completely absorbed in my own characters and stories, and my pet project at the time had a major character named Maurice. So when I came across a movie called Maurice and read the back of the cover, I thought it was "funny" that the character named Maurice was gay and decided to make it my pick for the day. My mom took a brief look at the back of the box and said, "Gay? Why would you want to watch that?" But she let me rent it anyway. I think she didn't look too closely at the warnings on the back of the box, such as the big bold one that said, "This movie will forever corrupt your daughter and offer her first glimpse of men's penises other than when she walked in on her dad in the shower and laughed her head off." (I'm paraphrasing.)
As it turns out, I was a little too young to truly appreciate Maurice. But even then, some of the more heated moments in the movie stuck in my mind like the glue my mother used to make for us out of rice while all my classmates got to use that fancy Elmer's stuff from the store.
A couple years pass, and my friends get me into Sailor Moon, which was airing at around six in the morning on TV every weekday. Granted, in the mangled American TV version of Sailor Moon, they turned one of the men from the first season's gay couple into a girl, but I was tech savvy enough to navigate the web (at that time known as "America Online") and discover the truth behind Zoisite and Kunzite.
Things didn't really click for me, however, until I was fourteen or fifteen years old. By that time, I was heavily into anime, and my friends had introduced me to Neon Genesis Evangelion (which, by the way, I do not recommend unless you like to see lots and lots of creepy and grotesque sexualized imagery of fourteen-year-old girls). But, again while surfing online, I stumbled upon some (pretty tame) "yaoi" fan art of Shinji and Kaworu. I asked myself, "All these fascinating pictures I really like are labeled 'yaoi.' What does that mean?" So I went to Yahoo.com and did a search.
Thus was the end of my innocence.
Throughout the next decade or so, I watched and read every yaoi title I could get my hands on. One of my favorites at the time was the manga series Kizuna, a love story between a former kendo prodigy and the son of a yakuza boss. I had to buy the books from an online Japanese import shop and then download text translations online, or text summaries if translations weren't available. Apparently now you can buy the whole manga series in English, which is still on my list of "things to do when I have money."
The manga that probably had the largest influence on my own storytelling, however, was Yami no Matsuei (which you can also now buy in English under the title Descendants of Darkness). This was primarily a fantasy story about (some very pretty) gods of death who judge the souls of the deceased and handle cases where those souls are interfering with human life. This series also has one of the better anime adaptations, which I also recommend. What I loved most about this series was that it had a very strong plot, and the plot really was the focus, but there was also a steady stream of m/m content throughout. While I appreciate straight-up romance, I prefer stories about other types of struggles that happen to also have strong romantic themes. This is the way I approach most of my own work.
Later in college, when my interests as an illustration major began shifting toward a more detailed and "realistic" aesthetic, I began branching out from just yaoi and began exploring m/m novels, movies, and TV from the U.S. and other countries. I even revisited Maurice, both the novel and the movie, and both remain favorites for me. (The audiobook of Maurice is also wonderful, and has the best narration I've heard on any audiobook.)
Now in my own work as an artist and writer, I like to try to find a healthy balance between the fantasy of yaoi and the (relative) realism of other m/m media, as well as the balance between plot and romance. I'm looking forward to my 7/2 release of Art of Death, as well as the time that more of the m/m elements begin to pop up in my webcomic, Demon of the Underground, because I'm really happy with the balance I've found in both.
Check out the other participants of the Manga and Romance Blog Hop, and be sure to leave a comment on my blog or another participating blog for a chance to win the GRAND PRIZE! There's lots of m/m and yaoi giveaways, and you don't want to miss the opportunity to shed the last of your innocence, do you?
Love Kizuna and Yami No Matsuei. It's only been about 3years since I've been reading Yaoi and I read everything in alphabetical order so I wouldn't miss a thing. I am totally obsessed and spend far too much money on them. I have my pretty pretty collection which I should get around to reading sometime.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! I'll agree that yaoi is a bit of a time and money suck, but isn't it kind of worth it in the end? ;) My problem is I haven't been reading enough yaoi in the past three years, at least compared to what I used to read. If there are any recent titles that you would recommend, let me know! I'm only familiar with the "oldies."
DeleteAaaaaah. Blockbuster. I remember the days when I'd want to watch a certain movie that was perfectly acceptable for my age group when I was little, but then my Mom would use her 'Being a Parent Judgment' and rent something else that I didn't want and was horribly twisted, screwed up, and aimed at children. I actually didn't learn to appreciate Disney movies till later in life. Oh man the LINE out the door for Little Mermaid at the theater. Talk about memories. :D
ReplyDeleteI also didn't appreciate yaoi until later in life. I claimed repeatedly I actually didn't like it. I also realize I was in a big gooey gob of denial. Because my method was 'I don't like this. So I'm going to figure out WHY I don't like this by reading a ton of it and make a decision.' Hahaha. That was a brilliant excuse if I do say so myself. I don't actually read much yaoi manga anymore because the newer stuff after a while all looks the same with the same kind of plot. Once in a while something really different and awesome comes along.
I personally liked Chrysalis. http://www.mangago.com/r/l_manga/manga/chrysalis/
Because it was dudes that looked like dudes, and they were somewhat older. And just the star-crossed nature of it. But of course, it also came out in 2005. LOL Shows what I know. ;D
Hahaha! That does sound like a very effective way of finding out why you don't like something. ;) I'm sure I've done that with something too, but I can't think of what.
DeleteI never heard of Chrysalis before, but it looks interesting! I wonder if it's still possible to track down a copy...
Thanks for visiting, dude!
As a newbie I am learning so much from the blog hop! I am excited to get started.
ReplyDeleteYvette
yratpatrol@aol.com
Yay, that's good to hear! Thanks for visiting and commenting! Welcome to our wonderfully corrupt little world. ;)
DeleteI remember watching the French movie L'HOMME BLESSE on basic cable of all places (how it got there, I'll never know) while my mom was asleep on the couch. The SECOND the two (hot!) guys whipped out their equipment, she woke up. I clicked it quickly, and had to wait YEARS to see how it ended (rather sadly, sadly). I've just kind of had a fascination with m/m my whole life...my mom seems kind of bemused, but resigned to it as her kid's freaky thing. (My dad, on the other hand, would flip.) Reminds me of that Outrageous Cherry song with that great hook "I like you, you're corruptible"...
ReplyDeletevitajex(aat)aol(dot)com
I haven't seen that one, and now I'm wondering how I missed it! I'll have to check it out. But man, I don't know what it is with parents and their wonderful timing... although perhaps the most likely explanation is that as kids, we do so many bad things that they're bound to eventually walk in on one of them!
DeleteMy dad knew that I occasionally looked at "dirty Japanese drawings," as he called them when I was a teenager, but he never seemed intent on finding out more about my little hobby. Or again, maybe the more likely explanation is he caught a glimpse of one of the images and was traumatized enough that he decided to mind his own business from then on. ;) But I'm with you on it kind of being a lifelong fascination. Ever since I was interested in romance at all, I was interested in m/m. I've never been able to muster up that kind of interest in het romance.
Thanks for visiting and commenting!
Het romance just seems so...cliched. There's usually just the alpha guy (who's like a lame Disney prince with a few oiled-up muscles and some control issues), going after a woman who is nothing like me. Not only is the dynamic usually totally sexist and offensive, I end up despairing that the romance-novel heroine is what I should be. If you love guys, why wouldn't you prefer m/m? It just makes perfect sense. Thanks a lot, I'll be back!
DeleteWow, I feel the exact same way! A huge reason why I've never liked het romance is because the heroines are nothing like me—and usually nothing like I'd ever want to be. They never value the same things I value or aspire to be anything beyond an Object of Affection. And yeah, oiled up Disney princes... I've never found alpha males to be particularly interesting.
DeleteHi Ana! Thanks so much for sharing this! I can't even remember how I came across yaoi, but I think it was a natural progression from watching anime. They had these Grimm fairytale stories for kids when I was little that were anime and I just remember loving it because it was so pretty, but also because they were pretty daring for kids' cartoons. I didn't even know it was anime at the time.
ReplyDeleteThen there were all those movies in the 80s like the Last Unicorn, which I loved. I grew up watching animated Disney films and although I loved the art, I never understood why they didn't dare to do more, and why most of their heroes were so damned boring! The princesses were supposed to be 'feisty' and then the heroes were about as exciting as a plank of wood (with maybe the exception of Aladdin and the Beast). Then of course I discovered Miyazaki.
I think Junjou Romantica was what changed everything. I loved reading and watching it. It was so sweet and funny. From there I just started to read other yaoi titles and watch the animes. I loved watching these fellas fall in love. Thanks for participating and have a great weekend!
Ooh, I know the Grimm's fairytale stories you're talking about. I haven't actually seen them, but I've wanted to. When I was around six years old, though, I saw Toei's The Little Mermaid, and even then I just really loved the art style. Of course, I bawled my head off at the ending. The Disney version came out a few years after I saw it, but Toei's was always the "real" version to me.
DeleteMulan is really the only Disney movie from that era that I liked, and that's because she wasn't "one of the princesses" and actually was a relatable character to me. I liked Aladdin (the character), and I do have a soft spot for the movie, but the princess/romance aspect always keeps me from fully enjoying the movie.
I wonder how I missed Junjou Romantica. The anime was released a bit after my time, so to speak, but that's no excuse for missing the manga! I'll have to go back and check out both.
Thanks for stopping by! I'm going to try to do all my commenting on other participating blogs tomorrow since I'm working freelance all day, but I did stop by a handful of them today for a preview (including yours). I'll be back tomorrow! ;)
I can't agree more about liking stories with struggles other than romantic. I wonder if anime and manga have that influence on all writers. I'm glad to see so many more of these books recently.
ReplyDelete~Gus
I'm so happy to hear someone else say that, because I always feel like most romance readers want a more "pure" romance than what I have to offer. That said, I'm fine with serving a minority, as long as the minority truly does exist!
DeleteI did a quick drive-by on your blog today, but I'll be back to comment tomorrow since I'm stuck working all day. I can't wait, though. I really enjoyed your post!
Does every yaoi title include Legend of the Blue Wolves because that one made me giggle and cringe and swear off blindly watching a yaoi title every again! lol.
ReplyDeleteThank you for participating. This post was entertaining. I love reading about how everyone discovered yaoi.
Oh yes, it does indeed include Legend of the Blue Wolves. If there's one thing I can say about that one, it's that I actually really liked the last 20 minutes or so and thought the ending was great. But man, it would have been a lot more effective if I hadn't still been reeling from the trauma of the first 75 percent of the movie! I'm still trying to decided whether that first 75 percent was more traumatizing than the infamous corn and bourbon scene from Boku no Sexual Harassment. It's a tough choice.
Delete(Fun fact: For the sake of my own amusement, I actually did a still life of corn and bourbon for one of my sophomore college assignments. Unfortunately, I can't seem to track down the image.)
Thanks for putting this whole blog hop together! It's been so much fun, and I'm really glad I participated!
I think the corn and bourbon scene was less traumatic. Or I'm a horrible person...heh. At least the corn scene has turned into a yaoi culture staple. (mostly due to AMV hell's rendition with the silly voices from Aqua Teen hunger force.)
DeleteI'm so glad you were able to join the hop! I hope your comic has been gaining fans as well.
You know, I think you're right about the corn and bourbon scene being less traumatic, at least as long as I'm able to suspend disbelief regarding alcohol poisoning. It's yaoi, for God's sake; I really shouldn't be thinking about it that realistically! Plus the memory of that scene is somehow hilarious (or maybe I'M a horrible person!), while the earlier parts of Legend of the Blue Wolves was just plain traumatizing.
DeleteI still remember my early days of getting into anime. After I saw the pretty boys in Escaflowne and Fushigi Yuugi I realized that I had a high appreciation for the male body. It still took me many years before I actually started getting into yaoi, but that's probably due to me not coming to terms with myself until a later age.
ReplyDeleteNow, sadly I rarely read. And I mean, I RARELY read. Sad yes, but it's just the way I've been most of my life. To be honest though, after I read your story Dragon Tamer, I had an interest spark again to actually want to read. And not only that I've had more of an urge to write. Yeah. I should definitely write.
Totally looking forward to Art of Death dude. Should be awesome.
It's always bugged me how male beauty is so under-appreciated, at least in America. One of my figure painting teachers in college frustrated the hell out of me because he would almost never assign us male models, and he even said that he usually chose female models because "who wants to look at a naked man?" Typical straight guy mindset. Not to mention the fact that college figure painting is a learning experience, and he basically robbed us of 50 percent of that experience.
DeleteI'm really excited and happy that my story got you interested in reading and writing again! If you ever want to blab about your ideas to anyone, you know where to find me! :)
I was a tad bit older when I lost my innocence, but that's because I was so in love with Michael Jackson and was gonna marry him that I didn't have eyes for anything else ;) I did go from yaoi to m/m romance though.
ReplyDeleteErica
eripike at gmail dot com
I love your Michael Jackson story. ^_^ You know, I kind of feel like I missed out on the experience of having a childhood celebrity crush, because I seriously didn't have any. I think I was always so immersed in art and animation and the stories in my head that I never paid attention to *real* guys. Of course, that's no longer the case...
DeleteThanks for visiting and posting!
I love this lost! I giggled reading it :)
ReplyDeleteLillywriting@gmail.com
That makes me happy. :) Thanks for stopping by and posting!
DeleteI lost my innocence through hot steamy books, but lost it all over again when I discovered yaoi. Thanks for a fun post that brought back a ton of memories!
ReplyDeletetali dot spencer1 at gmail dot com
Thank you for visiting! I don't think I read my first steamy book until I was in my twenties, and by then my innocence was pretty much shot. ;)
DeleteI actually like Evangelion. My nephew got me to watch it. ;)
ReplyDeleteI've seen several blogs mention Descendants of Darkness... I might have to watch that one yet.
Tried to watch Maurice but didn't get into it... maybe I'll try the audio book if it's good. The few m/m I've checked previews of for audio just didn't sound that interesting.
lina7391(at)hotmail(dot)com
I did like the plot of Evangelion, and when I was watching it at 15, I was able to ignore a lot of the issues that bother me about the story now that I look back on it. At this point in my life, with all the sex and gender issues I constantly have to deal with in the art industry where I work, I unfortunately can't enjoy the series anymore. But I'm sure not everyone else has the same hang-ups I do!
DeleteI listened to a lot of audiobooks when I had to deal with a long commute to work, and they're tricky because you can find a bad book with a good narrator or a good book with a bad narrator, or a bad book with a bad narrator, but it's very difficult to find a good book with a good narrator!
Thanks for stopping by and posting!
I enjoyed this post; it was a great read. Descendants of Darkness was the beginning for me!!
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Tracey D
booklover0226 at gmail dot com
Thanks for stopping by, and I'm glad you enjoyed the post! And yay for Descendants of Darkness! ;)
DeleteAren't you glad you found it? I am. Love reading Yaoi and M/M!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by! And oh yes, I'm definitely glad I found it. I think I would be 80 percent more boring if I hadn't discovered it. ;)
DeleteI saw "Maurice" in college and I didn't get it until MUCH later. Before I found yaoi (I won't even tell you how old I was when I discovered yaoi...yikes!). I've seen Yami - it was very good. Dark, full of suspense if I remember it.
ReplyDeleteFor me, yaoi was definitely the inspiration for my writing. Something about seeing the story make things in my mind click! Glad to know there are other writers out there who had the same experience. XD
Thanks for the post! -Shira
I love hearing about how other people discovered yaoi and m/m. We all have our own little "timelines" and everything! Sometimes I wonder why yaoi made things in my mind click, but I guess it makes sense. I was interested in m/m relationships before I discovered yaoi, but yaoi brought m/m relationships together with my two other loves: art and storytelling. If someone could just figure out how to get yaoi to taste like chocolate, I think it would be the perfect medium!
DeleteMy guy friends used to think I was innocent. And then I shared the wonder that is yaoi. Now they know better :) Anyways, sorry for the very late reply, my computer crashed earlier, so I'm playing catch up now.
ReplyDeletetiger-chick-1(at)hotmail(dot)com
Hahaha, I have to admit it can be a lot of fun to use yaoi to traumatize guy friends! Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoyed the blog hop!
DeleteAs I read through your hop, I kept nodding my head. Totally understanding. When I got to 'So I went to Yahoo.com and did a search.' I was literally laughing out loud. Oh, the joys of internet learning. After I finish hopping I'm going to check out your web comic, and your stuff is definitively going on my list of 'when I have money'. Good to know I'm not the only one who has one of those, lol! Hopefully your timezone is Pacific, like mine, so that I still qualify. It's 10:58pm... >_>;
ReplyDeleteManda
Krowhop@gmail.com
Internet learning is a magical thing, isn't it? ;) Thank you so much for visiting and commenting, and I hope you enjoyed the blog hop! It's also very nice of you to check out my other work. My first novel is coming out on July 2, and I'll definitely be doing a giveaway for it, so feel free to stop back any time!
DeleteI can't remember exactly when I started to like boys together-- although I'm pretty sure I was 14/15-ish, like you--but I do remember the exact moment. By this time I was well into my adoration of anime, manga, and Japan in general. Every Saturday on Kids WB (defunct now I believe) there'd be anime/cartoons from 8AM to noon. It's where I discovered YuGiOh, Pokemon, and several others.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, for a while they had a show called Megaman Axess (AKA NT Warriors, apparently. I vaguely shipped Lan/Maylu, and Chaud/Anetta, and though Chaud was quite handsome ^/////^U blahblablah
So! Some episode Chaud and Lan have an argument, Chaud tackles Lan to the ground and they're wrestling... and I get this little tingle in the back of my head: my subconscious saying YUMMY~
That was what started my BL obsession, let it percolate down inside me somewhere. Strangely enough it took another year, and an encounter with Loveless, to hatch my new M/M-loving self. Never occurred to me to look for Chaud/Lan fanfic...
Now Loveless is one of my all-time favorite series in existence, has been for a long while. And I'm a pround fujoshi!
That's a really interesting story, and I love how so many of us can remember that exact moment when the spark first ignited. Ah yes, tackling and wrestling... I also have to admit that in the past couple months, after doing a lot of martial arts research for the sequel to Art of Death, I've gotten really into watching MMA, especially the lightweight fights. And while I do have great respect and admiration for the skill of the fighters, I won't pretend that my interest has nothing to do with the fact that there are half-naked guys rolling around on the floor together. ;)
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